


Fourth Day of Christmas

by alley_oops, HeadmasterFelix



Series: Aidan Turner and Jamie Campbell Bower: Citadel [8]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, British Singers RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Mortal Instruments (Movies) RPF
Genre: Chastity Device, Couch Cuddles, Discussion of crossdressing, Fluff, I swear the crossdressing stuff will stop, Light Dom/sub, M/M, soonish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 22:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14531094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadmasterFelix/pseuds/HeadmasterFelix
Summary: Talking, cuddling, and chastity devices. You know, normal stuff.





	Fourth Day of Christmas

"Extra butter, extra salt," Aidan announces, handing Jamie a huge bowl of freshly-popped popcorn. They crashed at Citadel the night before, too fucked-out to be arsed going back to Aidan's flat, and then lingered over a decadent breakfast there this morning. A walk to the grocer's to restock the pantry with non-fried food, and now it's movie time. "I guess my second choice would be Beetlejuice, although there's a lot to be said for Nightmare Before Christmas. But I still think we made the right call," he says, dropping down on the sofa and watching Jamie queue up _Edward Scissorhands_.

"Common misconception about Nightmare, it was produced by Burton, but not actually directed by him." Jamie cuddles up with Aidan closely, although still plenty upright to manage the popcorn. He'd been a good boy all day, not overly clingy, acting like only friends and not even particularly close ones at that during their brief journey outside the club. But now that it's prime snuggling time, he's going to milk it for all it's worth.

"God, yeah, I did hear that. It just-- it _looks_ like him in every possible way." Aidan props his feet up on the coffee table and slips his arm around his boyfriend while the first strains of Danny Elfman's magnificent score begin to play. "We are going to watch 'Johanna,' by the way," he says with a sly grin. "Even if we don't watch the rest of Sweeney Todd, we're watching your song."

He groans at that and rolls his eyes. "It's barely even my voice, you know. I was an absolutely rubbish singer back then, don't even know how I got the part."

"You're kidding me. That wasn't you?" Aidan lays a hand on his heart. "I'm shattered. All this time..."

"Well, it was me! ...Depending on how much digital manipulation can be applied to one's voice and have it still be their voice, anyway."

"That's good enough for me," Aidan decides with a snicker. He twirls a lock of Jamie's hair between his fingers. "God, it's so amazing to see Vincent Price," he says, but in truth he's more attuned to his lover's body, the press and the weight of him. The warmth and scent.

Jamie sighs contentedly and looks at Aidan for a moment. "You ever wish there was a simple phrase for 'I feel really good when I'm with you and you're my favorite person but I'm nowhere near ready for the L word so I'm saying this instead'? I could really use that phrase about now."

Shivers tingle along Aidan's spine and his grin is downright irrepressible. "'You're my favorite person,' I like that," he says, and looks at his boyfriend. "Jamie, you're my favorite."

Jamie stares a moment, that schoolboy-with-a-crush look on his face again. "You're my favorite, too," he says with a growing grin, and then looks back to the movie and leans his head against Aidan. And that's it. It seems so simple on the surface, but it just feels _right_.

Aidan hopes he manages not to fuck this up.

* * *

"Are you still frightened of pizza?" Aidan calls over his shoulder. "Because I really want some, but not if you're going to hate it." The best feature of his rented flat is the view of the New York city skyline, even though today that just means a leaden gray sky with icy slush on the ground twelve stories below. Watching _Edward Scissorhands_ always makes him long for a dusting of perfectly white fairytale snow.

"Pizza is terrible for you!" As if the copious amounts of alcohol and occasional recreational drug use is perfectly fine. He comes out of the bathroom running a hand through his hair, something of a nervous habit. "But I'll be happy with anything so long as I'm having it with you." Okay, that's sappy enough it would be disgusting if he heard it from anyone else's mouth, but he stands by it.

"Awww, you're so sentimental," Aidan teases, but his smile gives his words the lie: if Jamie is corny as fuck, then he's guilty of it as well. He seems unable to help being so, these past few days. "Okay, a carnivore special is on its way, with extra ranch dressing." He holds out a hand to his boyfriend.

Jamie sticks out his tongue at the tease and then takes Aidan's hand, drawing himself close. "You're my favorite," he says quietly. "Can we talk until food gets here?"

"Yeah, of course." _You're my favorite_. The words give Aidan just as much of a thrill as they did two hours ago. He lies down on the couch, legs stretching to the floor, and pulls Jamie down with him.

He settles in and looks so content just breathing in and feeling Aidan for a moment. Soon he brings it up, though, "I've been thinking about some of the stuff we talked about last night. The um, girl thing? I know I said it like it would be for you, but... Well, I sorta think I might've been just um... Projecting? Is that the term?" He clears his throat, looks elsewhere, "I think I want it but felt weird about wanting it, so I tried to make it about you."

Aidan muses on that. "To be fair, I am the one who keeps asking you to wear women's clothing," he says quietly.

"To be more fair, I'm the one who went towards the lingerie that first night. And I'm the one who always looks at makeup while waiting at the pharmacy, and who bought the fluffy pink women's dressing gown that no one is allowed to see me in." He's starting to smile again, trying to shake off his embarrassment.

"Not even me?" Aidan raises an eyebrow, grinning already. "Not even now?"

"Wellllll maybe you, maybe now," he teases and smiles a little broader. "I mean, I know I'm a guy, I know I'm happy being a guy. But... I also know it... makes me feel sexy? And the way you look at me, probably the way everyone else looks at me - I have no idea, I've been too focused on you - that makes that feeling even bigger and better."

"You're very sexy," Aidan agrees. "And you've got the attitude to support it." He decides to leave off any 'bigger and better' comment. "Are you saying you want more of dressing up?"

"Yeah, in part, but um... I... I think I'd like to go all out? Or at least try it. Really become a woman for a night. If you wouldn't feel weird about it. And only at Citadel, obviously."

Aidan pulls back, just enough that he can focus on Jamie's eyes. "Would I...? Who would I be? Do you want to work in one of your hooker fantasies?" God his blood is rising already.

Jamie smiles and shrugs sheepishly. "That would be fun. Or you could be yourself, if that's more comfortable. Or um, I dunno." He laughs gently, "I think anything would be fun, honestly, so whatever does it for you."

Gnawing on his lower lip, Aidan considers this. The idea certainly has merit -- lots of merits. "Can I choose your clothes?"

"Mmm... yes, but I have veto power, and you can't complain if I say no to something." He's starting to straight up grin now. "And we can collaborate on my makeup. I refuse to look anything like Taylor."

"God, no. I can't even listen to her music anymore," Aidan says with a small shudder. He loves the way Jamie's eyes light up when he's happy. "You were thinking... tomorrow?"

That does something else to him entirely. He smirks arrogantly and raises an eyebrow at the comment about Taylor. It's satisfying and vindicating and kind of a turn on, however petty that makes him. "Yeah, tomorrow. I need to shave again anyway, my legs are getting a little stubbly, and I feel way too lazy for that right now."

"Are you energetic enough to eat pizza and make out with your boyfriend?" Aidan asks, trying to ignore how tight his jeans are growing. "Because, um." He glances aside at his laptop, sitting on the kitchen counter. "I think I need to do some shopping."

"I'm energetic enough for _anything you want_ , Aidan." The implication is thick. "I very much like this idea of you shopping, though. Do you want any input, or do you already know what you're looking for?"

"No, I know what I'm looking for. Do you need to go linger in the cosmetics aisle, though?" Cheeky question, considering that Jamie doesn't actually _need_ makeup to look prettier than most girls. Aidan slips his hands down to Jamie's ass and settles his body more firmly against his.

"Well, there are a few things I've been lusting after," he admits, only a little reluctantly. "But I can't know what'll look good until I know what I'm wearing, obviously."

"Sly thing." Aidan chuckles softly. "Do you want to see what I pick out on the website? Or should I just tell you it will be black and very feminine?"

"Mmm," he purrs. "Black and feminine is good enough. Any accent colors I should plan on coordinating with?" Jamie wiggles his hips in Aidan's hands, getting increasingly excited about the whole thing.

"Whatever you want to wear on top, I guess. Stop that," Aidan says, mock scolding but unable to stop his grin. "This is very important, what we're discussing. You want to distract me from the critical planning stages?"

"Stop what?" He furrows his brow and feigns innocence, wiggling his hips again. "Stop being cute? I'm afraid I can't, you'll just have to learn to live with it. It's quite the hardship, I know."

Aidan squeezes his ass. "Stop your-- Actually, no," he decides, reconsidering. He slides one hand up to Jamie's shoulder. "Stay right there," he says, and kisses him.

Jamie whines at the idea of Aidan leaving him, mostly playfully, and makes grabby hands before he even gets up. "Only if you come back soon. If I get bored, I can't be liable for my actions!"

"Ahh, yes, I recall," Aidan says, thinking back to when Jamie told him that having idle time can be dangerous. "But don't you have an outfit to work on?" God, he surely can't wait, and opens his web browser the second he can.

"I'm a bit confused," Jamie flops onto his back and stares at the ceiling. "Aren't you putting everything together on your own? What's there for me to work on?"

"You're supposed to work on the dress," Aidan explains dryly. He tries - unsuccessfully - to smother a smile. "God, it's like you can't even concentrate when I'm touching you."

He blinks a few times, definitely unable to deny the accusation. "Wait, so then what are you doing? I thought you were picking out my clothes."

"I'm picking out your underwear, stockings, and shoes," Aidan replies, as if it should be the most obvious answer in the world. "But beyond that, I don't know what kind of girl you are. That's for you to do."

Jamie blinks again and tilts his head, confused, still staring at the ceiling. "I... don't... know what kind of girl I am either..." his voice is a little far away, already considering. Suddenly he bolts upright, grabs his phone off the side table, and settles back down on his back while he uses it to shop.

About thirty minutes later, Aidan winds up his phone conversation. "No, that's good," he says. "Ten sounds perfect. Yeah, thanks." He hangs up, his blood humming, and looks across the room at Jamie. "How's it going over there?"

"Mmm, well, I dunno what kind of place you wanna take me, posh or pub, so I've got three I really like." He sits up and hands his phone over, looking for approval. "Which is better?"

"Wow," Aidan says, scrolling through pics of each dress from all angles, his mind a riot of excitement while he mentally compares each option to the lingerie set he just ordered. It doesn't escape his notice that all three choices are blue, his - their - favorite color. "To answer your question, we're going dancing," he murmurs, then decides, "this one." A gracefully gathered bodice with a pleated chiffon skirt, and shoulder straps just wide enough to cover traces of what will lie beneath. "This one is perfect."

Jamie has to keep himself from grinning, watching Aidan react to the dresses. Hearing that they're dancing sends a rush of excitement through his chest and... _Do I have a thing for that now?_

"Do you like all of them? Not for tomorrow, but in general?"

"Yeah, I like them all. Right now, I'm thinking about which will work best with the lingerie you'll be wearing. Which will be," Aidan grabs his laptop and turns the screen so it can be seen, "this. And I got you thicker heels than usual so we don't have to worry about breaking your neck."

"Fuck, I'm gonna be gorgeous," he says quietly, and then continues louder, "Is that... Are you planning on bending me over like a desperate slut without even getting my panties off?" Jamie grins.

"Precisely." Aidan grins, pleased with the lacy boy shorts he found -- the ones tailored for a man and gaping open in the back. "Plus I figured this would be good for the illusion," he adds, although he still doesn't feel as confident about this aspect as Jamie claims to. "It'll keep all your junk snug up front."

Jamie bites his lip, an odd mix of shy and lusty. "You're my favorite. And I'm ordering all three so I'll have something any time you wanna take me out."

Delighted, Aidan beams at him. "I ordered you a couple other things, too. But you'll have to wait for those until you're back in England." His eyes dance with mischief. "But I promise the wait will be worth it."

"Yeah," his voice is calm, maybe a tad sultry as he gets up off the couch. He slips his hand on Aidan's chest, draws himself close. "I've found that the wait is always worth it when it comes to you."

His smile edges into something more like a smirk, and Aidan slips his arms around his boyfriend. "Mr. Bower, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Always." He laughs gently. "But I really just love being close to you, and constantly drilling in how wanted you are. I know it can take hearing it and feeling it a lot for people like us to really believe it, deep down."

"People like us?" Aidan asks, pulling Jamie to sit across his lap.

"People who... well, by temperament or experience, both in my case, at least the latter in yours, who are generally disinclined to understand how valued they are by the people in their life. Am I way off here?"

Aidan's jaw drops, but somehow a protest never quite makes it to his lips. "I don't know what the fuck your girlfriends wanted," he blurts out, studying Jamie's face, "what weird nonexistent alien attribute they thought you were lacking. Because you're everything. Everything right."

"Yeah, so I'm starting to realize." He grins. "And so are you, for the record. Downright perfect."

Aidan ducks his head, smiling bashfully. Jamie was right, it's instant denial from his perspective. "I'm going to..." he blows out a breath. "I'm going to choose to believe that _you_ believe that." He nods.

That's adorable, and Jamie smiles warmly. "That's a good start, because I definitely do. I'm going to keep telling you in the hopes that you'll believe it too someday." He doesn't wanna push it though, it's a slow process, helping someone rebuild their sense of self. "So, what are _you_ going to wear tomorrow? If I'm getting all dolled up, you should too."

"I hadn't thought about it. Would you rather see me dressed up or down?"

"Mmm... maybe somewhere in the middle? I mean, don't go full on tux with me," he laughs, "but something nice would be, well, nice. Maybe a tie if the place we're going has the right environment for it. I've always wanted to pull a man by his tie, into a kiss, or into _me_."

Aidan grins. "Yeah, I can do that for you."

 _Give a mouse a cookie..._ "And... maybe blue? The shirt or the tie, whichever. I don't want to totally match, I hate couples who do that, but... coordinating is kind of fun, making sure we make a gorgeous couple, not just gorgeous on our own."

"Oh, that reminds me," Aidan says, looking around for his phone. "I need a picture of us."

That's charming even before Jamie has any idea what for. "Well, okay, so long as you promise not to sell it to The Sun," he teases.

"Nah, don't worry. The Sun won't even deal with me anymore." Aidan fidgets with the camera app, then holds his phone up at arm's length, making sure they're both in the frame.

"What? Why? Already sold them enough photos of your illicit affairs to last them a lifetime?" He leans into Aidan and smiles for the picture, turning on his photogenic charm like a light switch. There's certainly a reason he was a model before he was an actor.

"They weren't pics of me, they were of Pippa Middleton." Aidan smiles and snaps the photo. Then turns to lick Jamie's jaw, and the camera flashes again.

That Aidan wanted a picture of them that showed they were something other than simply friends surprises and delights him, makes him fall just a little harder, and he gives a little purr of a noise. "You have a secret life as a royal paparazzo I should know about?"

Aidan just laughs and kisses him.

Jamie doesn't let him out of the kiss easily, tongue and teeth joining in on the fun, one hand clutching Aidan's shirt tightly and the other cupping his neck. Having his mouth on Aidan in any capacity has quickly become one of his favorite things.

"You're spoiling me with sex, you know," Aidan admonishes between hungry tastes of Jamie's mouth. He shifts his boyfriend to straddle him. "Pretty soon, I'll be unmanageable."

"Mmmm, I think it might be the other way around," he grins and settles solidly on Aidan's lap. "Has it been a while since it's been this constant for you? Should I be worried about unleashing some kind of beast?"

"Yeah. It's been a while since I lived with a lover, even for just a few days." Aidan's expression grows sheepish, his hands stilling on Jamie's hips. "And, I mean, you know I supposedly have a problem with that."

"I can't wait for both of us to be home," he caresses Aidan's chest and rakes his nails down gently. "I'll visit you all the time, we can spend every waking moment in bed, if you want."

Aidan's eyes soften, and he smiles, catching Jamie's hand in his. "No," he replies, "because I'll still want to dress you up and take you out."

"Charmer. You know I'm absolutely loving being shown off, right? Shown off but all yours, especially."

"All mine?" Aidan has never considered himself a particularly possessive man, not romantically anyway. But he loves knowing that, even amidst the impressive Citadel membership, Jamie will have eyes only for him. "If you ever change your mind," he begins, voice uncharacteristically hesitant, "if I'm ever not giving you what you need-- You'll tell me, yeah? You'll tell me upfront what the problem is?"

"Yeah, of course." He sounds a little like he's assuring himself as much as Aidan. "It's... not something I've been particularly good at in the past, but I feel safer with you than I have with anyone since Bonnie, so I think... that'll make it easier. I mean, I've shown you this much and that just made you want me, right? Plus, the opportunity for an actual grown-up relationship where we actually talk to each other is pretty alluring at this point."

"That's ridiculous. You don't have to get all nuts and go to extremes with me," Aidan teases, relieved by the answer. 

"The extreme of being grown-ups with a grown-up relationship? I know, it is quite the plunge, isn't it... I have... mmm... a fair amount of faith that we can do it, though."

"Fair amount?" Aidan snickers. "Okay. It still sounds drastic, but I'll give it a go. Although," his shoulders shake with laughter, "how much adulting can we really be doing when we're still playing dress-up?" God, Jamie is fun. His heart feels lighter than it has in a long time.

"Well... we... sort of play dress-up for a living, don't we? Or you do, anyway, and I used to. It's a perfectly adult thing to do." He gives a wicked grin, " _Especially_ the way we're planning on doing it. Adults _only_ , really."

"True." Aidan strokes his thumb over the back of Jamie's hand, barely aware that he's doing it. "I'm going to get very down when you're gone, I can tell already," he says in earnest. "Are you going to put up with that all right? All my whining and demands for wank videos?"

"I'll be waiting for it eagerly, in fact. And probably whining right back," he laughs. "Speaking of how we're going to manage long distance... have you thought about the cage any more?"

"Yeah, I have," Aidan answers, slowly licking his lips as he nods. "I ordered you one. Entirely plastic so that you won't set off metal detectors at airport security."

Jamie's happy but subdued expression slowly spreads into a broad, excited smile, and he even bounces a little. "Thank you! I'm going to love it. Wearing it during and after shows especially will be absolutely amazing, this reminder that I'm yours even with these girls throwing themselves at me. For once in his life, Jamie Bower _not_ jumping at the opportunity to fuck someone willing to worship him. My bandmates might think I've been abducted and replaced with a perfect look-alike."

"You'll be entirely pointless during fan orgies," Aidan agrees, delighted by the response. "The other night, though-- you did say something about being my boyfriend but still getting to sleep around. Do you not want that still? Or do you reserve the right to want that after you've spent some 24/7 time in a cage?" 

"I think I'll still want that, but not like that, not sleeping around. If I'm fucking someone just because it's fun, I want it to be you. All I'm looking for that I couldn't be caged for is, um... exploring, I guess? I still want to explore who I am and what I like and things I've been painfully curious about, but there's a time and a place, and a specific few people for that. No more hooking up - not for me, anyway, I'm fine if that's something you still want." And he definitely actually means that, there's no hint of hurt or sacrifice there.

"But, no," Aidan says, only half serious. "If you don't hook up with someone else, then how am I supposed to watch?"

He arches an eyebrow. "Mmhm... well, if you want to watch me fuck someone, then it's hardly hooking up, is it?" Jamie licks his lips, grinds down again. "Then it's doing what my boyfriend wants, because he wants it. And I'm always happy to comply."

"You are shameless, aren't you?" Aidan kisses him, then lingers against his lips. "You're my favorite."

 _Obviously. Have you even met me?_ But Jamie only thinks that, doesn't say it. He hums happily into the kiss, keeping his eyes closed as he focuses on the sound and feeling of Aidan. "You're my favorite too." It's so tender and intimate, this whole trip has been, he realizes, and the word 'love' crosses his mind. Which, of course, kicks up his maladaptive defense mechanism. He pulls back, smiling but not with nearly as much lust or affection, and entirely changes the subject. "So, are you coming with me while I go pick out makeup? I wanna do it in person, maybe at like, a place that just sells that kind of thing so I can get some advice."

"I am definitely not coming with you for that," Aidan says with a shake of his head. "But, let me know when you're leaving and I'll have dinner ready."

" _Typical boyfriend_ ," Jamie jokingly chastises. "Someday you will. But I won't make you until I've already got the role down well, sound like a deal?"

Aidan smiles crookedly. "Yeah, good deal."

Jamie slides off of Aidan's lap, standing and stretching. "We're just friends, out there in the rest of the world, right?"

"We're neither of us out, so yeah." Aidan stares at his toes like he'll find logic there. "Jesus, did I just talk about coming out?"

"I'm not not-out," he comments quietly and shrugs. "But yeah, I get your point, and yeah, you did. But it's not something you ever need to do. I mean, it's not like there's a spot in the parade for 'blokes who are straight except for this one other bloke who looks better than most women in a good set of lingerie'. And we have plenty of places where we can be ourselves, without inaccurate and inflexible labels or anyone to give a fuck."

Aidan nods, struck by the wisdom of Jamie's words. "One of those places, we'll go tomorrow. Oh, which reminds me," he says, looking up. "Before our date, tomorrow, I've booked you a spa appointment."

"Is that what you were on the phone about?" He tilts his head and smiles, then proceeds to the little kitchenette to get himself something to drink. "What am I getting done?"

"Whatever you want," Aidan shrugs. "I just want to make sure you feel pretty."

"You're incredible, I mean that." He comes back, sits beside Aidan and smiles, heartfelt. "I never thought I'd get to be with someone like you."

"Then you were an idiot. Although, clearly, not now." Aidan's eyes dance and he links their fingers together.

"For a long time, and for a lot of reasons," he laughs, "but yeah, I think I'm getting better. Now when the hell is that pizza gonna show up? I wanna go shopping."


End file.
